Are Boundaries Selfish?

I had an exchange with someone yesterday who was of the opinion that boundaries are selfish. But it is the lack of boundaries that increases selfishness. A relationship without boundaries lacks respect, structure, and security.

To be clear, boundaries aren’t a cloak for controlling or selfish behavior. And you can’t violate someone else’s boundary by moving the property line and then crying foul when they protest (as if you’re the victim).
Boundaries protect love and encourage godliness and maturity. They welcome accountability and mutual respect.
But, a lack of boundaries invites dysfunction, sin, codependency, enmeshment, abuse – all things that tear down healthy relationships and hinder spiritual growth. They work against biblical love.
If we aren’t setting boundaries, we are likely enabling dysfunctional, irresponsible, and/or abusive behavior from others. We may even be contributing to their personal destruction, as well as our own. And if we are the ones who aren’t respecting the boundaries of others, we’re part of the problem.
Stacy McDonald, Author of Truth Drops
Picture of Stacy D. McDonald

Stacy D. McDonald

Christian author, blogger, and trauma survivor, Stacy McDonald, gets real about her own painful struggles with toxic thoughts and dysfunctional thinking. After seeking help from a licensed Christian therapist, she finally began to unravel and examine the irrational fears, painful memories, and unhealthy thought patterns that had become entrenched in her mind during her own difficult and complex childhood.

All Posts